A New Year...

The start of the second month of 2011 and I am finally starting to breathe again after a busy couple of months. The first Christmas back home in Arizona, the first Christmas with family and friends down here, the first Christmas in our new house, the first Christmas with our new family dynamic...and of course, me being me, I wanted everything perfect for everyone, especially my children!

Christmas back in Arizona after nearly 12 years of being away left a whirlwind of emotions flying around me and through me. Christmas here, as a child, was always so special...Grandma and Grandpa just on the other side of our backyard - their home always warm, filled with happiness, joy and all the love the Christmas season has to offer, voices of laughter, family from near and far could always be found there. Memories and thoughts of so many years before...the Christmas tree in the front room that my mother spent countless hours decorating with such precision and perfection, the countless varieties of cookies and candies filling both our table and my grandmothers, despite the lack snow and the cold and the frosty white vision of winter that I got used to after years in Utah, the effort that so many residents of this great city go to to give this desert town a unique winter 'feel' as they cover every inch of their yard and home with lights, music, and decorations. It was as though I never left and yet at the same moment, such a surreal feeling to be back home this time of year.

Our dinner group for Thanksgiving - Family and New and Old friends!

As much as I missed enjoying a white and wintery Christmas this year, we tried our best to enjoy every part of Christmas in the desert. We took advantage of the lack of snow and actually, for the first time in years, got to put up Christmas lights in the yard. We even took a couple nights to drive through the city and admire all the houses that went above and beyond, covering every inch of their yard, their houses and in some cases even their driveways with lights and holiday decorations. We were able to branch out and spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with more then just family, but new friends, family of friends and opened our doors to anyone and everyone that didn't necessarily have family to go home to. I was able to relive my childhood a bit and introduce my children to my most favorite part of Christmas here in my old neighborhood - luminaries...Christmas eve day we were all outside filling paper bags with sand and candles, lining the road and sidewalks getting them ready to light that evening. And Christmas Day I was able to open my home to nearly 20, for the best Christmas feast ever! It was a house filled with laughter and joy, friendship and family. The kids were blessed to have their dad home and enjoy waking up with him Christmas morning. The moments were  priceless and the effort for perfection I worked  so hard for this holiday season was not put forth in vain...all of it reminded us how blessed we truly are.

Shortly after the wrapping paper was cleaned up, the dishes done time and time again, the house put back in order after most of the company had gone...it was time to say goodbye to 2010. I knew that this New Years Eve wouldn't be like any of the others...it would be a reflection of so much...almost too much that one year held for me, for my family. It was saying goodbye and accepting a lot of change, it was hope for peace and happiness in this New Year, it was even a little fear of what may be waiting for me around the corner. 2010 was probably the hardest year of my life, filled with so many changes that at times I wondered if I'd make it through. As I held back the tears as the clock struck twelve, I realized that I was still standing, I did make it through...my kids are happy, Miss P is healthy and cordless, I have great people around me, supporting me, helping me and making my life a little brighter each day. Its a New Year...New possibilities, New choices to make, New experiences, New challenges, New gifts and blessings. I start each morning with looking at a picture my mother sent me...it sits beside my bed...it is a picture of two roads in a forest and it reads 'You are always ONE choice away from changing your life.' How true that reads and what a great reminder each day how important each day is, each choice, each moment...I am hoping to live each moment, enjoy each moment and have the strength and courage each day to make the right choice, the right choice for me and my sweet children. So here's to a new year!

Kurt and his kids Christmas Eve

Preslie Christmas Morning



Me and My dad and Grandpa Christmas Eve



Me and my sweet kids Christmas Eve



Jaden,kyler and Miss P in their Christmas best



My boys